Day 9 - The question is "How do I see my heart responding to God's love?"
Before I answer, I need to let you all know, that I am am finding motivation to write these blogs getting weaker. I'm on day 9 of 100, which is 6 days longer than I honestly thought I would keep going. Yay me. Yet I am 91 days from completing this project. Yikes.
Which leads me back to the original question, "How do I see my heart responding to God's love?" If I am being completely honest, I would say my heart is tired, weak, distant, nervous, and vulnerable. Makes sense knowing I needed to take my sons to the dentist today. First time going to this dentist too. I am not a fan of dentists. Not that I have ever really had dental issues, I just get really nervous about it. The last time I took my boys to the dentist it was a complete and total nightmare. They screamed the whole time, and the dentist refused to work with us. It was pretty disheartening actually. Another moment of rejection for us.
Looking back, it took me along time to even try to find a new dentist for them, and even longer to actually make the appointment. Fortunately, I was brave enough to search for a dentist. I was brave enough to make an appointment. Today, I was brave enough to get them to that appointment, be with them when they were called back, and leave them to the professionals when they were getting their teeth checked. Today, I put my faith in God that He led us into a new dentist who would not reject us, and who would know know how to provide a medical service for my boys while not traumatizing them in the process. God led us to the right people. When my oldest (by 14 minutes) was finished he looked proudly at his teeth in the mirror and said, "Wow! That was fun!". My younger son thanked the dentist and hygienists and told them, "I did a great job!".
Did you catch my response? My husband would roll his eyes at this. He likes direct, clear cut answers. My response is not direct and clear cut. In case you missed it, I talked about how my heart feels (weak, tired, nervous), and what I did with that feeling. What I did, IS my response. Yes, I feel weak, and nervous, and vulnerable. So, so vulnerable. Fortunately, feelings are not facts. I know God loves me. I know that when I "trust in the Lord with all my heart, and lean not on my own understanding wherever I go, He will clear a path for me to follow" (Proverbs 3:5-6). I have this verse painted on an artwork in my bedroom. I look at it everyday to remind me that God's got me, and it is up to me to listen and follow His path for me.
Caring Hearts and Voices is a path God is calling me to follow. I frequently wonder why He wants me to take this on. I know there are people better qualified to start a non-profit. There are better musicians out there to provide music for people in need. There are people who are much better organizational coordinators than me. Yet, here I am, forming Caring Hearts and Voices. Why? Because following his lead is how I respond to God's love. How do you respond to God's love?
I am Maria Jordan, founder of Caring Hearts and Voices. I started this organization to honor my mom, my sons, and my own story. We all have gone through difficult times. Times where we needed support from family, friends, and the people around us. For me, music was often a greater source of comfort during those times. Caring Hearts and Voices is dedicated to providing support to people in need through music. How can our Caring Hearts and Voices be there for you?